Amy, dear Amy, how you shook me up...

When this great artist died I was shook up. Still am actually. Just like when Ryan Dunn died. I was even more shook up by the death of Ryan. How I loved that guy! It probably was his own fault but nevertheless he did not deserve it.

That brings me to, do you EVER deserve to die? Sometimes life seems unfair. It keeps spinning in my mind.

My parents both died. My mother kind of knew she was not going to get old. She always made statements that kind of made that clear. She talked about grandchildren when I was 16. She would have loved to be a grandmother. She never got to be one.

Did she deserve to die? She probably did since she faught cancer four times. She was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of waiting in anticipation of her death. Also we were tired. Always shook up when the phone rang at strange hours. The last time the doctor said "your mother has cancer". I knew this time, my mum would not win the fight. She knew it too. No one asked how and what would be done. We all knew "this is it". We all knew my mum would be leaving us. She had had enough.

The days following were hard. I felt this was it. I tried to tell my siblings. They looked at me as if I had personally signed her deathcertificate. It was a strong feeling, I wanted to warn them to take care of unsolved 'business' as now maybe was the last chance...

I was right. I feel things and should be taken serious as it comes to this. Now, they know.

My dear mother. Cancer at 23. Bad hearth at 37. Cancer at 43,44 and died of cancer at 49. I miss her. Even though we did not get along. I miss her.

Amy, girl. Find peace, wherever you are. Keep jamming! Amy tell my mother and father I love them and give them a big hug. We will miss you all and are missing you already. Life is cruel and unfair, you better have a big concert up there, would be a shame not to use your talent! Keep rocking until I get there!